雅思作文批改,麻烦各位帮忙批改评分,要求：从语法,连贯性,词汇,内容等雅思评分的四个方面予以批改,分别提出改进提建议,最好是能提出本人写作上存在的一般性问题；另外,每个部分都要

雅思作文批改,麻烦各位帮忙批改评分,要求：从语法,连贯性,词汇,内容等雅思评分的四个方面予以批改,分别提出改进提建议,最好是能提出本人写作上存在的一般性问题；另外,每个部分都要
雅思作文批改,麻烦各位帮忙批改评分,要求：从语法,连贯性,词汇,内容等雅思评分的四个方面予以
批改,分别提出改进提建议,最好是能提出本人写作上存在的一般性问题；另外,每个部分都要给出分数.如果从达到了以上要求,酌情追加30-50分,至少加30分.
today,the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Although the topic is not heated,there arises a variety of viewpoints towards it with many sound reasons ,those against and those for it.
Some of those who feel it is a logical view that considerable turnover of popular consumer goods is a reflection of the influence of advertising.Primarily,it is well-know that if enterprises had put much capital into advertisements,then ttheir products would trend into every cornor of society,even winning a worldwide reputation.Similarly,what shopaholics decide to purchase is disturbed by what they see or hear around us.After all,independent as we are,we can hardly turn a deaf ear to advertisements.In addition,it is a common sense that a number of consumers are inexperience as well as sequacious when they are confronted with dizzy advertisements,due to which they are prone to some advertisements.
To go head-to-head,however,a significant different idea draws much attention.
Others strongly insist on that the point above is unilateral and that there are more to successful sales of popular products than the power of advertising.First of all,without satisfied quality of goods,we wouldn’t keep ever-rising and high sales,and can’t even launch our brands,What we already know is that we had better put consumers into the first place,it is naturally morally wrong to send out poor commodities.Then,whether you are foreign or domestic companies,you should keep in mind that after-sale service contributes much to sale-maneuvre,boosting your development.Last,but not the least,we are partial to cost-effective goods,not ones which cost an arm and leg.As a result,cheap goods may also have high sales,not resulting from the power of advertising.
All in all,both sides put up with their own opinions on the foundation of some reasonable senses.However,if asked me to make a choice,I will not hesitate to assent to the latter.I believe that high sales of popular goods is a reflect of the power of quality.

雅思作文批改,麻烦各位帮忙批改评分,要求：从语法,连贯性,词汇,内容等雅思评分的四个方面予以批改,分别提出改进提建议,最好是能提出本人写作上存在的一般性问题；另外,每个部分都要
TR：6
CC：6.5
LR:7
GRA:7
OVERALL:7
功底不错,表达清晰,词汇丰富,语法结构多变,甚至有些文采,很不容易啊.
只是在审题方面感觉第二段论述有点跑偏,主题句应该是popular consumer goods ,论证的两端是the power of advertising 和 the real needs of the society,前段论证充分,但后段说服力不够.这也是我的拙见,仅供参考.有些词拼写有点小毛病,比如well-know, corner等等,但总体很不错,7分我给的有点低.呵呵!